Thursday, August 4, 2011

follow-up with my high risk OB

We met with my high-risk OB (Prof Yossi Ezra) today. As I expected, he has no answers for us. The pre-term labor was totally unexpected and there is nothing he or I could have done differently to prevent it. He said that even if I had gone for a check up the day before, they wouldn't have seen the signs - and by the time the PTL started, there was nothing they could have done to stop it.

With regards to getting pregnant again, he said that there is no reason I shouldn't be able to carry a singleton to term (twins would be super tricky and risky -- but odds are super slim I would get pregnant with twins a 3rd time, even with the fertility treatments). He said there isn't much we can do differently next time either - since we didn't do anything 'wrong' this time. Next time, I would still do the frequent u/s to check my cervical length (which was fine this time, even just a few days earlier). We would add P17 (progesterone) injections - which we couldn't do this time since they don't help with twin pregnancies, only singleton pregnancies. But other than that -- things would be the same and chances are good that I will carry to term.

Because of the C-section, and the fact that I've been pregnant so often (56 weeks total out of the last 2 years) which severely diminishes the store of vitamins and minerals in my body, we need to wait before we try to get pregnant again.  Because the paperwork and bureaucracy takes so long to process, I made an appt with the IVF clinic for next month so I can at least get the balling rolling. I'd like to get all the paperwork and re-testing done so that when we can start the IVF again, we are ready. (I'll need the national health care to re-approve my IVF qualifications which will probably take a few meetings with a few specific doctors as well as a ton of testing redone -- STD panel, blood count, clotting factors, hysteroscopy, HSG, etc)

After the trip to the doctor, we made a trip to the Ministry of the Interior (Misrad HaPanim). In general, new mothers don't have to go into the physical office to register their child's birth. You get a temporary birth certificate in the hospital after delivery that has a detachable part where you add the child's first name and mail into the government. They process it and mail you back the official birth certificate. Death certificates you can only get in person. So we went in and met with the special person who handles cases where new parents need to file for BOTH a birth and death certificate. Luckily, we had all the paperwork we needed and the guy was really nice. I now have 2 official birth certificates and 2 official death certificates. He asked us if we wanted to add them to our identity cards (children are listed on their parents identity cards and only get their own cards at the age of 16). We decided that we did. So now, both Micha and Asaf are listed on both of our identity cards, with the initials z"l (standing for the Hebrew version of "of blessed memory"). It's bittersweet...

5 comments:

  1. You are just amazing Leora. You and David will have babies in your arms and homes one day. I feel it. I have yet to gather the strength to send of for Matthews birth certificate. I have the office record of birth from Vita Records and his Death certificate, however for some reason I am having trouble filling out and send off for his official birth certificate. You have shown strength and determination for all your babies which in return gives me strength. Please keep writing.

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  2. Leora you have been in my heart and in my mind... Your journey has changed me... A stranger a thousand miles away is honouring your children's lives by being more aware of how fragile and precious life is. You and David are truly deserving to raise children and I am sending you every warm wish that soon you are holding your children in your arms, not just your heart. Our son was born three years to the day that we had our first (and most heartbreaking) miscarriage.... sometimes I wonder if it is the same soul that we lost so many times...

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  3. Leora, I can not express how heart broken my wife and I are for you and your family. You've never met or communicated with me but your support of my wife, Doracy, has meant world to me. Even though I know what it feels like to look into the face of your child and watch them slip away from you I can't imagine what it must be like to go through that same experience a second time. It would break me permanently for sure, the first time almost did. When I heard the news of Asaf's passing I cried for hours. I feel like I know you and David from what Doracy has told me about you. When I read that David had spent the morning looking for Micha's grave it reminded me so vividly of the morning I spent choosing the grave site for my boys. It was the coldest morning of my life.

    In the future you will bring your children home, in your arms, healthy and safe. I believe that, I have to. They will grow big and strong. When they do I want your rainbow babies to meet mine. It may not happen till they are adults, because of the distance between us, but they will share a bond that only children with siblings that came before will understand. They will be beautiful and you will cherish them like no other parent will. No other parent will be more deserving. No other parent will take better care of their children.

    We will be here for you and David and we will do anything we can for you. I will always consider you family.

    Russell

    P.S. tell your high risk OB that you will be getting a cerclage. I firmly believe it helped us get through our second pregnancy with twins. Sadly the only indicator doctors have that a cerclage is indicated is that a family has lost a pregnancy the same we did a year ago and the way you just did. I'm so frustrated with the world medical community for their lack of study in this area. It breaks my heart.

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  4. Leora,
    I am knitting a blanket for your baby - it's a tree of life. When I've finished, I'm going to send it to you to bring him/her home in.
    (I know about not preparing for the birth before, but I heard a story...
    Two women went to the Lubavitcher Rebbe for a blessing for children, which they each received. One went out and bought a crib, they both went home and waited. A year later, the woman who bought the crib was blessed with a baby. Her belief and action made the blessing come true. You and David have done your part - and powerfully! I'm adding a my little bit.)

    Thinking of you all,
    Leah Shapiro Shollar

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